I feel tense but uplifted by the smiles and welcomes. The veteran foster mother/ fellow adoptive parent who has been a much needed shoulder to weep on more than a few times over the last year, the warm friendly mother who is struggling through parenting her adopted teen but has been such an inspiration to me, the adoption professional who has seen me at my worst and still seems to have hope for me all make me glad I walked through the door.
My adoption support circle. I was not aware of how important it would be in my life. Sometimes parenting a child who has been adopted is just like parenting a child who grew within you, sometimes it is entirely not the same. The entirely not the same is what you need to be able to talk to about with other parents who have been "there" or understand how you are feeling standing "there". They are most likely the very few who will understand when you express your regret over adopting. They usually know that you are not horrible for thinking your family might now be in a healthier place if the adoption had never occurred. They know that condemning does nothing and just listening means the world.
Your adoption support circle may look different than mine. Do you need to be supported by other transracial adoption families, open adoption families, trauma related adoption families, private adoption families.....? It is possible that in this moment you do not feel the need to be supported at all. Can you possibly be that ear or shoulder for someone else? Making those connections now could go a long way in a few weeks, months, years.
No matter how you parent or who you parent be in a place of support.
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